BREAKING: Celtic to be deducted 10 points and stripped off titles after ‘washgate’ scandal.

Celtic Football Club has been plunged into crisis today after confirming their own fans have a serious hygiene problem.

Stricken fans of the Parkhead side have been found guilty of turning up to matches unwashed, unkempt and generally “bogging”, and will now face extreme punishment for the infringement of new SFA guiidlines.

Chief Peter Lawell claims those not fortunate enough to earn one a million a year should look after themselves properly and buy the correct washing essentials.

Manager Ronny Deila was quick to back up his faithful fans, telling reporters outside Lennox town, “We don’t to washing away.”

The Celtic Soap Opera continues tomorrow with a hearing at Hampden Park where chiefs will decide if the pig house should stay open.

An SFA spokesman said earlier: “Nivea in my life have we heard of such appalling behaviour.

“We are doing all we can to make sure Hygeine integrity prevails and that the rest of Scottish Football is treated fairly.”

The NHS official website claims that body odour can appear as a result of being overweight. After hearing the news, Celtic Honorary Ambassador Paul the Tim is said to be furious and refused to comment after being committed to overtime till duty at ASDA.

The source to the smell is still unknown. The consumption of hot foods can also lead to increased according to NHS staff and skipper Scott Brown is known to enjoy a cheeky kebab. Star man Leigh Griffthis is also a prime suspect showing off this suspicious plook on his face.

Suspicious Plook?
brown 2
NHS Scotland say hot foods can lead to body odour.

The legality of Celtic’s previous 4 league titles have now been called into question after a shower of complaints from angry opposing fans claiming they failed to disclose illegal stench levels.

Hoops chiefs will sweat it out over the next few days as to whether the club will be able to remain in the top flight or not.

In an effort to improve cleanliness levels, the club have announced a new scheme where fans will be offered free tickets in order to free up more money for daily washing essentials. Existing season ticket holders will also be offered a 20% off Boots voucher.

The news has now reached a global audience with newspapers in America, Germany and France has all publishing the story online. Hoops fans are fearful that Billionaire patron saint of the poor Pope Jean Paul Gautier will be next to hear of the scandal.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s